Looking for a Little Detachment?

detachment by dawn kotzer

Years ago, during a time of personal chaos and confusion I heard about this book by Deepak Chopra-

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success– A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams.

Three words sent me to the bookstore to buy this book…

Success, Guide, Fulfillment.

The fact that I didn’t have a clue what my dreams actually were didn’t put me off. This was a guide to fulfillment. Close Enough.

I remember reading the book, enjoying the book but one page in particular, Chapter 6-page 81, stayed with me.

More specifically, the Aha! of that moment imprinted upon my soul and stayed with me.

I’ve inscribed the quote on index cards and journals; plastered copies of it in my office, my studio, my fridge ( I can always use a little help in the kitchen).

I’ve shared it more times than I can remember.

Today, I’m sharing it with you.

The Law of Detachment

“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…

In the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past,

from the known,

which is the prison of past conditioning.

And in our willingness to step into the unknown,

the field of all possibilities

We surrender ourselves

to the creative mind

that orchestrates the dance of the universe.”

Go ahead. Take your time. Read it again if you like. I’ll wait.

Then consider what happened for me.

Accepting  that dance of uncertainty  carried me to the magic of not  knowing, of  not needing to know. Surrendering to the music of the creative mind~I give myself permission to discover and embrace my own guidance  towards  finding fulfillment, even if I have no specific dreams.

Take a peek at the book’s  overview. You may decide it’s worth your time and effort to read the book.

If you’d like to share this post, please pass it on. Your comments on this or other posts are welcome.

Feel free to get in touch with me.

Now go dance.

How does your Inner Genius, Creativity, Pursuit of Meaning, Success Experience and Lizard Brain connect naturally? Find out at dawnkotzer.com. I’m a Certified Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, Modern Muse Group Facilitator, Certified Martha Beck Life Coach, artist and student of life thriving in Saskatchewan.

Clearing the Path of Perfection.

The path has vanished…again.

I can’t  believe my eyes. How can this be? It was a path of perfection yesterday…tidy, clear, level.

True, it stormed last night but man, not even a hint of my studio path remains.

I groan. More shoveling. Looks like I’m in for quite a work out.

That’s the upside.

Bundled up in layers of winter clothing- trudging, struggling, sinking through 3′ snowdrifts just to get to the shovel, frustration overtakes me as I recognize the downside.

Whoa! As soon as frustration meets ‘downside’ Lizard Brain jumps on the bandwagon chiming in with a resounding  ‘Shoulding’ refrain.

“I should have shoveled a wider path.”

“I should have put up a snow fence.”

” I should be better at this by now.”

“I should have parked the snowblower where snowdrifts CAN’T bury it.”

“I should have known about the snowstorm.”

Does this refrain sound familiar?

Does all this ‘Shoulding’ make you feel just a tad paralyzed by perfection or the need to get it right?

This need, aka Perfection Paralysis, is high octane fuel for the Lizard Brain. Give her an inch of frustration and she’ll turn it into a mile of misery.

If you let her, she’ll lodge that ‘Shoulding’ refrain in your head for days, weeks, months, even years at a time. Worse yet, the bigger your need to be perfect, the louder and stronger her voice.

Built into to our physiology to protect us from danger, to ensure our survival, you can appreciate that the ancient Lizard Brain is committed to you 100%.  The  faintest glimpse of the enemy, the slightest sound of fear and she’s got your back, using any tool she can lay her hands on. She takes her job very, very seriously.

It’s just that these days she’s a little confused about the enemy.

It sure seemed like she heard alarm bells…isn’t that what all the muttering and moaning was about?

She’s also learned how to read my thoughts…

Obviously if I had set things up perfectly to start with, it would be easier now.  I’ve been shoveling snow for years. When am I going to Get-it-Right?”

No. I can’t blame Lizard Brain. She’s just trying to do her job.

As far as she knew, reading my reaction; irritation, frustration, unhappiness, anxiety over shoveling through 3 feet of snow-AGAIN…I was obviously in great peril.



Ahhh, poor little Lizard Brain.

I pat her on the head, thank her for her vigilance and settle her down for a nap on a nearby sunlit snowbank.

Over time, I’ve learned to pay attention to the whisperings of my Lizard Brain, to let go of my need  for perfection and develop new habits to bring Peace to the moment.

Here’s what works for me:

  • Lean Back and Sigh~ Gain a little perspective by claiming some breathing space. In this case, I lean on the shovel. Practice Awareness, 10 seconds at a time. Take in the beauty of the pure white snow. Pay attention as my moist breath floats like a cloud into the morning sunlight.
  • Hang out with the Nine Modern Day Muses~ I choose Spills and Bea Silly. Both are into the Joy of DOING, not just the Joy of Done. For those stalled by the ‘Paralysis of Perfectionism’, Spills uses the power of Close Enough. She rewards me for having patience with the process of practice. Bea Silly uses Kidstuff ™ as a way to infuse an attitude of Play into everyday life. Any way to lighten up and have a little fun here? (Sure! I go back into the house and slap on my favorite trapper style Canada hat.)
  • Three Breaths ~ Take 3 even, regular breaths. Pay attention to your body as you breathe in and out. I know, you hear this all the time. Why? Because it works. Attention to your breath is the simplest, smallest step you can take to still inner stress.

So there you have it. Snow, glistening white in the morning sun; Lizard Brain content to dream away the moment in the warm sunshine and me…Trapper style Canada hat on head,shovel in hand, clearing a path for imperfection as I embrace my own process of practice and play.

1-2-3 shovel-breathe. 1-2-3-shovel-breathe. 1-2-3-shovel-breathe-lean back and sigh.

Want to Laugh More, Love More, Live more? Curious about how your Inner Genius, Creativity, Pursuit of Meaning and the Success Experience connect naturally? Find out at dawnkotzer.com. Dawn Kotzer,  Certified Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, Modern Muse Group Facilitator, Artist and Martha Beck Certified Life Coach engages Life from her Boreal Forest home in Saskatchewan, Canada.

Curiosity killed the Cat. Really?

Who said curiosity will kill the cat?

In my virtual world, I hang with a herd of cool cats who pad softly into The Muse is In Writing Club. Twice a week, prompts (divined by the Big Cat herself, Jill Badonsky) come to my INBOX.  I never know what the prompt will be but I’m always curious to find out.

Last Week’s Prompt-#115: Feel or imagine curiosity in body, mind and spirit and then see what you are inspired to write.

“Feel Curiosity in the Body…”

I roll the prompt over in my mind as if trying to feel its’ texture with my fingertips.

Rolling them back and forth, my mind feels the words as if to find the edge of another side. Suddenly, the voice inside my head breathes out.

“Body the IN-Curiosity Feel…ahhh, I like it.”

With that, my mind takes off like a cat springing into action, giving chase to a tiny mouse darting for cover between the rocks on shore.

Letters jump from rock to rock, rearranging themselves into words and phrases quickly; the curious cat leaps to keep up.

“The Feel-In-Body-Curiosity”

“Curiosity IN-THE-FEEL Body”

“Body Curiosity in the Feel”

“Feelin’ the curiosity body”


“Bodyfeel in the Curiosity”

C’mon, that last one was just plain silly.

Yup. That’s the point.

Just for a moment longer I push past the staid into the silly. Worry about how it sounds or if it makes sense falls away in the moment.

‘How does curiosity feel?”

By now I’m really getting into this. The virtual crowd inside my head goes wild. (Apparently I’m not alone in there.) A scene unfolds before me.

Leftbrain BestBet Beulah, running out of steam, is fading, fading…she stumbles. The torch is scooped out of her hand by RightbrainWhat-if Wendy.


The torch falls onto the ground. What-if Wendy scrambles as she tries to recover it.

Too late.

Letters tumble against each other one last time.

The crowd goes silent. Will this be the final phrase?

“Thy Bid- One. Feel CURIOSITY.”

Back to reality, I preview my response to Writing Prompt #115. Before staid might again overtake silly, I hit POST.

I wait. No tightness, no ‘rightness’ surfaces. I feel loose, fluid, happy that I let go in the moment and rode the wave of curiosity. Just as Oley, the rockstar discovered, it doesn’t really matter if the mouse gets away when the process of curiosity is fully activated. I’d say that’s a Win-Win.

So the next time you feel even a twinge of curiosity seep into your bones, breathe out, set worry aside; let your mind leap! into the process. Ride the wave of What-if? Give yourself permission to step out of staid and into silly one short moment at a time.

Here’s the thing. Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat…curiosity breathes life in to the cat.


p.s. Interested in these writing prompts? Don’t be shy. Check out The Muse is In Writing Club.

p.p.s. The mouse got away.

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Want to Laugh More, Love More, Live more? Curious about how your Inner Genius, Creativity, Pursuit of Meaning and the Language of True Self (Soul) connect naturally? Check out my site. Dawn Kotzer, Certified Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, Modern Muse Group Facilitator, Artist, Speaker and Martha Beck Certified Life Coach engages in life from her Boreal Forest home in Saskatchewan, Canada. Get in touch here.