The path has vanished…again.

I can’t  believe my eyes. How can this be? It was a path of perfection yesterday…tidy, clear, level.

True, it stormed last night but man, not even a hint of my studio path remains.

I groan. More shoveling. Looks like I’m in for quite a work out.

That’s the upside.

Bundled up in layers of winter clothing- trudging, struggling, sinking through 3′ snowdrifts just to get to the shovel, frustration overtakes me as I recognize the downside.

Whoa! As soon as frustration meets ‘downside’ Lizard Brain jumps on the bandwagon chiming in with a resounding  ‘Shoulding’ refrain.

“I should have shoveled a wider path.”

“I should have put up a snow fence.”

” I should be better at this by now.”

“I should have parked the snowblower where snowdrifts CAN’T bury it.”

“I should have known about the snowstorm.”

Does this refrain sound familiar?

Does all this ‘Shoulding’ make you feel just a tad paralyzed by perfection or the need to get it right?

This need, aka Perfection Paralysis, is high octane fuel for the Lizard Brain. Give her an inch of frustration and she’ll turn it into a mile of misery.

If you let her, she’ll lodge that ‘Shoulding’ refrain in your head for days, weeks, months, even years at a time. Worse yet, the bigger your need to be perfect, the louder and stronger her voice.

Built into to our physiology to protect us from danger, to ensure our survival, you can appreciate that the ancient Lizard Brain is committed to you 100%.  The  faintest glimpse of the enemy, the slightest sound of fear and she’s got your back, using any tool she can lay her hands on. She takes her job very, very seriously.

It’s just that these days she’s a little confused about the enemy.

It sure seemed like she heard alarm bells…isn’t that what all the muttering and moaning was about?

She’s also learned how to read my thoughts…

“Obviously if I had set things up perfectly to start with, it would be easier now.  I’ve been shoveling snow for years. When am I going to Get-it-Right?”

No. I can’t blame Lizard Brain. She’s just trying to do her job.

As far as she knew, reading my reaction; irritation, frustration, unhappiness, anxiety over shoveling through 3 feet of snow-AGAIN…I was obviously in great peril.

“DANGER! MUST SAVE DAWN FROM?…ah, LARGE WILD ANIMAL CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A SNOW SHOVEL! IMMINENT FREEZE-DRIED DEATH! LOOK AT ALL THIS SNOW. IT MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD. YES-THERE’S DANGER OUT HERE.

QUICK! AMP UP FRUSTRATION. BRING ON ANXIETY and EMOTIONAL DISTRESS! CREATE PANIC! I’LL MAKE HER FLEE INTO THE HOUSE FOR SAFETY!”

Ahhh, poor little Lizard Brain.

I pat her on the head, thank her for her vigilance and settle her down for a nap on a nearby sunlit snowbank.

Over time, I’ve learned to pay attention to the whisperings of my Lizard Brain, to let go of my need  for perfection and develop new habits to bring Peace to the moment.

Here’s what works for me:

• Lean Back and Sigh~ Gain a little perspective by claiming some breathing space. In this case, I lean on the shovel. Practice Awareness, 10 seconds at a time. Take in the beauty of the pure white snow. Pay attention as my moist breath floats like a cloud into the morning sunlight.
• Hang out with the Nine Modern Day Muses~ I choose Spills and Bea Silly. Both are into the Joy of DOING, not just the Joy of Done. For those stalled by the ‘Paralysis of Perfectionism’, Spills uses the power of Close Enough. She rewards me for having patience with the process of practice. Bea Silly uses Kidstuff ™ as a way to infuse an attitude of Play into everyday life. Any way to lighten up and have a little fun here? (Sure! I go back into the house and slap on my favorite trapper style Canada hat.)
• Three Breaths ~ Take 3 even, regular breaths. Pay attention to your body as you breathe in and out. I know, you hear this all the time. Why? Because it works. Attention to your breath is the simplest, smallest step you can take to still inner stress.

So there you have it. Snow, glistening white in the morning sun; Lizard Brain content to dream away the moment in the warm sunshine and me…Trapper style Canada hat on head,shovel in hand, clearing a path for imperfection as I embrace my own process of practice and play.

1-2-3 shovel-breathe. 1-2-3-shovel-breathe. 1-2-3-shovel-breathe-lean back and sigh.

Want to Laugh More, Love More, Live more? Curious about how your Inner Genius, Creativity, Pursuit of Meaning and the Success Experience connect naturally? Find out at dawnkotzer.com. Dawn Kotzer,  Certified Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, Modern Muse Group Facilitator, Artist and Martha Beck Certified Life Coach engages Life from her Boreal Forest home in Saskatchewan, Canada.

Snow Overwhelm

Howling winds, biting snow slanting across the yard…doesn’t look like I’m going anywhere today.

Think I’ll head  out to my little studio.

A perfect place to spend a cold wintry day, don’t you think?

I bundle up and step outside.

Oh, man.

3′ snowdrifts everywhere…someone’s going to have to shovel a lot of snow.

That would be moi`.

Crap.

I clear away drifts by the door, the deck, the steps. I don’t even consider clearing the back walkway. An hour later I’m tired, hot and not even close to my studio.

It would be easy to give up; give in to feelings of overwhelm. My tired back joins my Lizard Brain in a whining refrain…”you’re  kidding, right?” Too tired to think, I lean on the shovel and take a break.

I ask.

“PLAY? PLAY? Not Work?” Lizard Brain is all ears.

My batteries are recharging already.

I tune into Kaizen-Muse™.

Developed by Jill Badonsky, the Kaizen-Muse ™ Creativity Coaching model combines these 2 aspects-

Kaizen: A Japanese word meaning “continuous improvement with small steps.”                                                                                                                                         Muse: A bearer of creative inspiration.

Backstory: Apparently, one fine day in a coffee shop,  as the story goes, Jill made the glorious discovery of her 9 Modern Day Muses and a Bodyguard. These ‘life’ companions come complete with Tools and help clear creative blocks, (overwhelm, procrastination, perfectionism, self-sabotage, fear of failure, success and comparison…you get the drift. Ahh- pardon the pun).

Years later, on yet another fine day- though not in a coffee shop, I met Jill, the 9 Muses, the Bodyguard and Kaizened right into the best of my life.

Every day, I use  KMCC™  for many things, creative or not…like clearing a path that is completely blocked by snow. (Now there’s a metaphor for life.)

Anxious to get at it, Lizard Brain is prodding me with my shovel, “c’mon, c’mon…let’s play.”

Game On! I choose a few KMCC™ Tools.

Break it Down.

Looks like I’ve already broken this big job down into sections… my path is the last area to shovel. Way to go. I’ll make it even simpler and break the path into 3 parts, no 5…Beginning, REST, Middle, REST, and End. Lizard Brain is lovin’ this.

Ask small questions.

Did I ask Small Questions? Oh ya…Can I use my favorite shovel to do this?

Lizard Brain’s raises an eyebrow and smugly says,”Dawnie, your favorite shovel is the small grain shovel…you know…the one you use for G.R.A.I.N., not snow.”

I am so.o.o tempted to throw a snowball at him.

Instead I just reply, ” So What? It’s my favorite shovel. I’ll use it anyways.”

Use the power of Small Steps and Creative Foreplay ™

Small Step: Pick up the shovel. Right.

It’s nice, light and the perfect size for me.  I feel the ease as it cuts effortlessly through the snow, revealing a little more of my studio path with each scoop.  With a quick toss snow crystals dance in the bright sunshine as they arc downward, settling into the growing snowbank. Even Lizard Brain is smiling…he likes the flash of shiny aluminum as I bring the shovel back around for the next small load of snow.

Creative Foreplay: Imagine that…

I imagine that every slice through the packed snow is like digging deep into the earth, soon to reveal glorious buried treasure.

Lo and behold, the next slice of snow does just that.

I see a sparkle… What’s this? A cavern, a snow tunnel that leads me to gold…light at the end of the snow tunnel.

Neat.

By now, I’m at Part 4- REST.

Sure, my back’s a bit tired but in 10 minutes I’ll be done.  Lizard Brain gave up any resistance to the game when we discovered the  tunnel. Right now he’s sunbathing on top of the snowbank…I’m still tempted to throw a snowball at him- this time just for fun.

I finish clearing the path and decide to add one more Small Step to this game of Kaizen and the Muses…A Small Reward.

Heading back into the house, I make myself a steaming cup of freshly brewed tea. Pulling on a cozy sweater and toque, I slap on my sunglasses, grab one piece of chocolate for Lizard Brain and one piece of chocolate for me, head outside and step lightly down the studio path  and into my creativity.

THE END.

Or as Jill Badonsky would say…Way Cool!

Want to Laugh More, Love More, Live more? Curious about how your Inner Genius, Creativity, Pursuit of Meaning and the Success Experience connect naturally? Find out  here. Dawn Kotzer, Certified Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, Modern Muse Group Facilitator, Artist and Martha Beck Certified Life Coach engages Life from her Boreal Forest home in Saskatchewan, Canada.

I know. It’s spring. The crocus blooms are just bursting to blow through the forest loam, and I’m sending you a picture of sunlight on snow.

Tell me. Do you see the snow or do you see the diamonds?  Do you see winter or do you see the deep freeze pushing itself up towards the sunlight.

What I’m really sending you is neither snow nor sunlight.  Delivered by the magic of technology is a Feast for your eyes…the main course:  Nature’s Reality.

I have spent the past winter too much inside, anchored to my computer, plunged into the task of learning rudimentary tech. For me it’s a hit and miss process. Considering information is exchanged at lightning speed my progress is glacial, slow, measured in bits and bytes of comprehension. My reality…Technofog.

Hours fly by. Days pass. Night moves in and out and then back in again. Technology doesn’t care. I don’t care. I’m on a mission. Occasionally, I hear the outside world calling. Winds sing, windows rattle, chimes ring in a southfacing, sheltered deck.  “Come out, come out, wherever you are. Yes, it’s cold outside, but it’s a dry cold. Come out. Come out and play.”

I turn a blind eye, a deaf ear and like a confused turtle, go back inside my head.  Finally, thankfully, my body cries, “Enough!” Pushing away from the desk, taking a small step to start my rebellion,  I turn and catch a glimpse of the silvery sunshine on the sleek, silky nub of birch bark.                                           “When did the sun start shining so brightly?” The snow gleams with a  layer  of  brilliant crystal bling.

My body calls. “Go out, go out…yes, it’s cold outside but it’s a dry cold…dress warm. Go out. Go out and play.” I listen, bundle up and go.

Grabbing my camera, step by step I  head up the hill to the south meadow. Catching my breath with an intake of homecoming, I walk into a land filled with diamonds in the rough. Winter grasses bleached and softened by cold north winds look polished with the sun’s shine. Winter is in full bloom.

I feast my eyes and touch the world. Laying in the soft white snow I glance through the grasses, skyward.  Wow. Prisms, crystals, diamonds…everywhere. I pull the camera out of my jacket. Click. My fingers stiffen with cold as I crawl through the snow.  Click. Twisting in another direction; Click. Click. Dipping as close as I can to the frosted earth, my head tilts skyward. Click. Click. Click. Finally, I stand up, shake off my snowman coating, stuff my hands into my mitts for warmth and go home. Back to the office. Back to the computer, back to my learning curve.  But I am deeply refreshed, nourished and re-energized by my Feast in the meadow.

Now on the eve of another season, I share my Feast with you. This gift is woven by the magic of combining 2 realities.  One at a time they may both call to us, inviting us to play.  I am lucky. I have learnt through my lesson of neglect, we are best served when we blend our inner and outer realities together.

Ah…do you hear that? “Come out, come out wherever you are. Come out and play.”  Now go find a Feast that replenishes you.

As an Inner Wilderness Guide, I use a lifetime of diverse experience, humor, grass roots wisdom and professional training to guide others into mind expanding landscapes.  Find how your inner genius, creativity, pursuit of meaning and the success experience connect naturally at dawnkotzer.com.

I’m a certified Canadian life and creativity coach thriving in Saskatchewan.

New to posting a blog,  I grimace over the learning curve. Why am I doing this again?  

Despite the snowstorm outside banking drifts across the road and the techno-fog inside my brain I  push on. What else is a Canadian Life Coach to do?

Then I realize I’m okay not knowing exactly how to proceed. Curiously, I just keep moving forward, getting a feel for the lay of the land.  Apparently I have everything I need…a sense of direction, a desire to get going and a point of view.  Befriending my ‘I Don’t Know’ mind has been a slow, uphill battle but oh, so worth it.  I’ll fill you in soon. The techno-fog is lifting. Snowdrifts be damned.

Wish me luck. Stay Warm.

Looking forward….

I use a lifetime of diverse experience, humor and grass roots wisdom to guide others into mind expanding landscapes.  Find how your inner genius, creativity and pursuit of meaning and success connect naturally at dawnkotzer.com