perfection quest fail

cat in window. Dawn Kotzer photo

 

a perfect fail

yes, it’s true, I failed.
Even though I’m OK with that, there’s a lot of pressure these days to pass, to have it all figured out.
The PerFecTion Quest is still ON.
The expectation to have the perfect job, career, home, kid, dog, cat…
ok, cats are exempt…a cat is a cat is a cat. ^..^
the perfect life assets with the perfect photos to prove it.
Facebook, Instagram, Social Media can’t be wrong, can they?
Whoa. I’ve grown weary of the PerFecTion Quest. Anyone else weary of it it too?
Didn’t we go through this identity crisis years ago- like in the 80’s and again in the 90’s.
I know I did. I was that intensely driven, uber trendy ocd tidy bowl chick who believed she could have it all. (I still have the 5′ heel collection to prove it. Thank god I burnt the shoulder pads.)
Those who know me now might find that hard to believe. These days I often forget to comb my hair. What changed?

One morning, 2 a.m. perfecting some design piece for my business, I moaned, “Gawwd, I need a creative outlet.”
The irony was not lost on the part of me that still had a glimmer of wit. I realized I was frickin’ miserable and thought:
I want to PLAY more — being exhausted when special people came to stay was NO fun.
I want to EXPLORE more — really? It’s the first glorious day in a rainy week and I MUST clean the stove or the fridge or the junk closet. Who cares? It’s a JUNK closet. No one needs to see your shoes from the last century.
I want to LAUGH more  — I don’t know about you but Cranky has a lousy…make that NO sense of humour.
I want to LOVE more — I like having a happy heart. Falling in love with PerFecTion was just a fling. My heart wasn’t that into it.
I want to DREAM more  — running in circles trying to keep up with someone else’s idea of perfect sucks my soul dry.
Mojo Mortis means dreaming is dead. Daydreaming reactivates MoJo.
I WANT to STOP looking for angst  — my life is NoT perfect AND it’s still pretty damned good.

I am NoT perfect and I am still pretty damned good. Time to state that loud and clear.
Some days ARE lousy, I AM cranky. Life is a challenge, things DO NoT go the way I want and that’s the way it flippin’ is…and yet, it’s still pretty good.
This line of thinking can be a tad confusing until you dare to ask, ‘You mean I get to be messy, screw up, disappoint others AND still be happy?’

Affirmative.
Whoa. What a concept.

I get to explore, embrace, fail and explore again. Being imperfectly down but not out reveals truths that might only be visible during the fall.
For me, showing up for my SelF is best done with a lot of kindness, in the playground outside the quest for PerFecTion.
We may admire perfection but we fall in love with imperfection, in ourselves, in others…need proof? Look no further than a Cat. ^..^
Courage, vulnerability and kindness have no need of perfection. As the song goes, “that’s where the light comes in.”

So yes, I failed. I abandoned the PerFecTion Quest and choose to show up as the imperfectly perfect me…and that feels pretty damn good.
Woohoo! Be real-find freedom.

I’d love to hear if we’re JoY-riding the same Imperfection train. It’s the only way to travel, right?
Hop on board. Comments welcome.
Yours in mad exploration for this business called LiFe.
Dawn Kotzer
Inner Wilderness Guide| Business Mentor| Master Creativity Coach
and SoulPLaY Detective
PS
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13 thoughts on “perfection quest fail”

  1. Agreed. When we’ve developed a habit of NOT showing up… to show up for, and as our Self might be uncomfortable at first. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s a new to us experience. Once we find a way to practice doing so consistently, it’s is so much better, isn’t it? Thanks for your comment, Mary Etta.

  2. Showing up for ourselves is so much better than being perfect for everyone else.

  3. Shoulder pads… ugh. But I still do love a well made pair of heels, Dixie… AND they love to hop on the imperfection train, too. ^..^ ~

  4. Oh yeah. Trying to be perfect is so exhausting. Thanks for sharing some ways to break the cycle b

  5. Thank god we don’t have to be perfect anymore! It was exhausting!! – As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that the only person that expected me to be perfect was me. It’s liberating to finally cut myself some slack.

  6. I’m trying to picture you in those heels and shoulder pads. So glad you hopped on the imperfection train!

  7. Hey Lisa, ‘look longingly at those heels’. Once day, I decided to wear heels to clean the house while I grooved to some great tunes. Ha! 10 minutes of that and I put on my sandals. Yep, I hear you. Thanks for connecting. Dawn
    PS. Live that you are a video diva au’ natural. Rock on!

  8. Thanks Lisa,
    Yep…I look at those heels too. One day, for the heck of it I decided to wear them while I vacuumed the living room. 10 minutes later, I was in sandals. Thanks for connecting.
    Dawn
    PS
    Rock on! You video diva au’ natural. ^..^

  9. Love it!
    Oh I sooooo relate to this…. from the glamorous one to now posting videos without makeup or a hairbrush even close!
    It too exhausting…. although I do sometimes look longingly at those heels… and then put the sandals on because I don’t think I’d even remember how to walk in them
    Great post
    Thanks!

  10. Thanks Ama,
    playing with typography is kinda like doodling. It’s having a go at art while the inner critic takes a nap. Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks. dawn

  11. “‘You mean I get to be messy, screw up, disappoint others AND still be happy?’” YES! I’m just figuring this out myself and it’a changing EVERYTHING.
    Greta post, I love the way you play with the typography. Perfectly imperfect.

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